


My Wish My Love

by Salty_Bok_Choy



Series: There Isn't a Day I Don't Think of You [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/F, Fluff, HonoUmi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_Bok_Choy/pseuds/Salty_Bok_Choy
Summary: What would it take to make the world accept that there is more than one definition of love? Seventeen years and still, Umi does not have an answer. Fortunately, a semblance of an answer has always been by her side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters of which they all belong to their respective companies.
> 
> Title inspired by the song: My Wish My Love by Yukari Tamura
> 
> I blame this entirely on the best and most amazing person ever. You jerk.

The sound of bamboo hitting rock while pouring water echoes through the silent halls. The bleakness of the sky somehow blends all too well with the tension that could be felt inside the meeting room of the Sonoda Dojo. A middle aged woman raises a cup of tea and sips, contemplating on her next move. As if in the midst of a duel, the woman didn’t miss the unsheathed anger residing in her daughter’s eyes. Her husband’s subtle twitch told her that he didn’t either.

“I will not go. Father. Mother.” Umi says with barely constrained lethalness. A note of finality. Her voice slightly raised above her usual level tone. The situation at hand demanding for more forceful language than what she normally allowed.

Her parents organized an arranged marriage interview. Without her knowledge. Umi is livid.

“Umi.” Her father said, lowering his tone, the strictness showing. “You should consider the prospects. After all-”

“I believe this discussion is over. Please kindly send them my rejection. I have absolutely no intentions of being married to a stranger.” Umi resolutely cut in. Rising from kneeling, her heart far more numb than her knees, she treads toward the exit before her parents could protest.

Bowing strictly out of habit rather than respect, Umi slides the door shut and strides out of the house, ignoring her parents chides. As soon as she was out of sight, she ran. Her mind filled with nothing but thoughts of escaping.

Umi needed to get away.

Her running pace was frantic compared to the usual training regime of her daily morning runs as the heavy burden of reality weighed her down. Every other breath she took, Umi could feel a sharp stab of pain in her lungs. Running wherever her legs were taking her, flashbacks of the earlier conversation with her parents tormenting her with each harsh breath.

_“It’s about time you grew up! Think about your future.” The Sonoda Patriarch’s voice scolded her._

_Umi’s mother tried to soften the blow of her husband’s words, “We’re doing this for your own good. We love y-”_ but too little too late.

“But you don’t know _who I love_!” Umi shouted, her voice caught on a choke of near hysterics.

Abruptly, she stops running as she slams right into someone else, nearly tumbling them both down until Umi’s fast reflex caught the other person by the arm and uses the momentum to steady both of their balance. Opening her mouth to apologize, her voice caught still in the back of her throat when she finally notices just _who_ it was she had bumped into.

“Geez Umi-chan. I thought out of the two of us, you would be the less klutzier one.” The girl with orange hair said while grinning, her joy easily reflecting in her cerulean eyes.

 _Honoka_.

The source of all the excitement and death defying situations she had experienced in her normal everyday life. The very first person to show her the joys of life. The light that guilds her.

Her girlfriend. A title that still makes Umi blush and simultaneously fill her heart with warmth and joy.

Moments blurred as Umi tugged Honoka into an out of character bone crushing hug. Burying her face into the crook of Honoka’s shoulder and neck. Not quite crying but merely reassuring herself that Honoka is here. In her own arms.

 

When Umi’s breathing had finally calmed down, the majority thanks to Honoka reassuring her with soothing whispers and rubbing her back the way that Honoka knew would relax Umi’s tense muscles, Umi opens her eyes and takes a moment to adjust to her surroundings. Honoka had led them towards the nearest place of privacy; the park. Umi notices the jungle gym that she and Honoka used to play in frequently as children.

Slowly unclutching her hands from the death grip she had on Honoka’s shirt, a wave of exhaustion passes over Umi but also a sense of relief.

Moving to sit down on the edge of a bench, Umi feels Honoka plopping down behind her, leaning her weight against Umi’s broad shoulders and back. Honoka is unusually quiet.

As the silence continued, Umi’s thoughts begin to wander, thinking back on memories, some death defying ones coming to mind, Umi chuckles as she recalls one specific incident involving getting into trouble with the police. A more recent memory of the very bench they were sitting on was the one where she shoved a grape flavored popsicle into Honoka’s mouth to quell her leader’s panic attack. After that Umi made sure that Honoka would never think that she never wanted to join Muse. Their ragtag band of miracles.

Honoka was a silly girl some times. She worried too much about others and entirely not enough about herself. Honoka was such a trouble maker. Always the first one to volunteer to help even if she is a scaredy cat at times and a pain in others.

Umi loves Honoka. Even the parts that don’t follow logical reasons but Honoka’s own brand of reasoning. The way that Honoka’s smile can instantly lift her dark moods and giggle at things she never noticed before Honoka pointed them out to her.

Naïve as it may be, Umi never wants to leave Honoka’s side, the place where she feels safest of all.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t kind. Where will they be ten years from now? The uncertainly grips her heart like a vice.

Umi is no longer as idealistic as she was. She knows her parents mean well when they try to introduce her to other… marriage prospects. The thought sends shivers down her spine.

Disgusting. Distasteful.

Umi is far too stubborn to allow herself to submit to their whims. If only they knew how much Honoka meant to her. And that is where the heart of the matter lies in.

It’s terrifying to think about their reaction. Umi grips her own hands.

Fortunately, Umi has trained from a young age to always maintain proper posture at all times.

“I… never want to think about a world without Umi-chan in it.” Honoka spontaneously says, breaking the silence of the empty park.

 _You will never have to, Honoka_.

Umi desperately wants to say, if only to comfort Honoka. However, it’s a lie. Reality is far too cruel to grant them that kind of leniency.

For the moment, Umi is glad that she has her back to Honoka. Her posture as sturdy as the tree they once climbed in their childhood. This way she can pretend that her own eyes are not gathering liquid. Hide the way her hands are clenching the other. She can feign the strength that she does not have.

But Umi was never a good liar.

Honoka always sees right through Umi’s facade. This time being no different.

 

With Umi lost in her own thoughts, Honoka muses through the situation that would bring Umi, the most rational person Honoka has ever known, to tears. Instinctively knowing that it had something to do with her parents. Even if Umi had shed the majority of her shy self, Umi is still a sensitive person.

Honoka is not as oblivious as others believe her to be. She knows more than anyone how fragile and delicate their situation is right now. This secret. Their relationship being kept silent as if it was something to be ashamed of. Umi is a private person but still, even Honoka knew her girlfriend wanted to hold hands in public.

On one hand, it would be the smarter choice if they didn’t publicly announce their relationship. Especially since they are still considered school idols but even then, that will pass in a few short months. Honoka feels a slight tremble of Umi’s shoulders.

Honoka couldn’t stand it. Clasping her hands together to quell the jitters. She leaned more of her weight against Umi. A habit than any actual desire of wanting to feel the harden muscles of her girlfriend’s solid body from years of training. Honoka feels Umi inhaling and exhaling. Meditation being a habit well trained into Umi’s repertoire.

 

More of an action person, Honoka could not tolerate the stillness for long. But before she could say anything, Umi spoke, breaking the brief silence, “My parents set up another arranged marriage interview for me.”

Honoka feels her heart plummeting down to her stomach. “Oh…” a small sound escapes from her lips.

“Of course I rejected them.” _I already have you_ , is what Umi doesn’t say but they both know it.

Bumping her forehead against Umi’s shoulder blades, Honoka grumbles something along the lines of Umi’s name and “meanie.” Umi chuckles a little at how well they know each other. Leaning back a little to feel more of Honoka’s reassuring presence.

 

At a standstill, Honoka couldn’t stand it anymore. The secrecy, the half truths, the strain of having to hide the nature of their relationship because it wasn’t the norm in society.

“Let’s tell them.” Honoka says spontaneously. “Probably not our parents but maybe Yukiho and your grandma.”

Umi instantly turns around to face Honoka, nearly letting Honoka’s head smack her chest before Honoka catches herself. “Honoka. We have no idea how they will react.” Umi says incredulously, always the voice of reason.

Honoka looks up at Umi and rights her posture to emphasize her point, “I’m scared too! But I don’t want to run away from home either. I love you so much I want to shout it out at the top of my lungs. I want to hold your hand in public and not have to drop it when someone passes by. I want to show the world how much I love you, Umi.” Honoka says, pure emotion dripping with each word.

“…Honoka.” A pled swirling in her amber eyes to just leave things be but Umi knows deep inside that she wants validation of their relationship as much as Honoka does.

“Kotori-chan and everyone in Muse already supports us. I’m sure our families will come to understand.” Pleading with Umi to see Honoka’s point of view, Honoka held Umi’s hands, pressing a gentle kiss to each of her rough knuckles.

“If not now, then maybe someday.” Ever the optimist, Honoka knows that even some things can’t be changed but that won’t stop her from trying.

“Umi chan, I love them and I know you love your family too.” A beat as a thought strikes Honoka. “I don’t want to run away from home. But if we have to to be together, I will. But only if there’s no other way.” Honoka admits as her voice trembles at the thought.

Umi pulls away slightly to contemplate about Honoka’s argument. It’s not that Umi cannot see the truth of Honoka’s words but there are far too many negative consequences. She doesn’t want to think what would happen if things didn’t work out. It’s terrifying.

Umi unconsciously squeezes Honoka’s hand for reassurance.

Knowing Umi still had doubts, Honoka resorted to her ultimate weapon of persuasion. Leaning in, Honoka grins before she tilts her head up and kisses Umi. Soft, slow, and full of mischief as she licks Umi’s lips with her tongue. Breaking the tense atmosphere around them.

Umi internally groans at herself for falling for the most troublesome and amazing person in her life. Honoka’s actions instantly banished her depressing thoughts and replaced it with feelings of warmth. Intertwining her fingers with Honoka and squeezing, Umi presses harder against Honoka’s lips with enough force to nearly dip Honoka.

Umi never knows what to do during the times that Honoka is absolutely serious. So, she goes along with the flow. As if there was anything more that she could do other than be swept away by her charming bright sun.


	2. Courageous and Unyielding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished my gift for "Senpai Noticed Me" Monthiversary: Part 2! Thanks for always spoiling me with Honoka~ lol

Talking and doing were two completely different things. Honoka was beyond nervous. Even when she had been performing in front of thousands of people, nothing could compare to the jitters she felt now. The fear of the unknown paralyzed her. Counting to three multiple times hadn’t help. Leaning against the wall out in the hallway in front of her sister’s door, Honoka sighs.

Thinking back, it might have been better had they decided to stick together to confess to their family members of choice. Although it’s too late to think about that now.

Honoka’s mind wanders and circles around between good outcomes and bad fallouts. She sighs again. _What would Umi do?_

Memories of a solid back and calloused hands flashes in her mind’s eye. Honoka’s cheeks grow warm as she thinks back to the kiss they shared in the park. The way Umi looked at her with such sincere trust and love. Honoka stopped breathing for a heart pounding second.

_It’s not fair that you have so much influence over me, Umi-chan~_

Gathering her wits, Honoka knocks on the door.

“Yukiho, d- do you have time right now?” Honoka ignores the stumble and pushes on.

 

Uncharacteristic of her brash sister, Yukiho felt that this was something important. “Yeah what’s up?” It was just the two of them in the house right now since their parents went to the neighborhood association meeting that the locals held once a month.

Coming into the room, Yukiho notes that her older sister is acting weird. Her expression set between an odd grimace and half-hearted smile. “Pinky promise swear that you won’t tell anyone about what I’m about to tell you.” Honoka recites ominously, sticking her pinky finger out.

This was definitely important.

“Pinky swear.” Yukiho swore with her heart and hooks her pinky with Honoka. Honoka glances at Yukiho’s other hand on the table to see if she had crossed her fingers. Yukiho didn’t. Relived, Honoka allows her mouth to curve into a small smile.

“You see… I… like…” Honoka’s voice lowers into incoherent mumbling. Yukiho barely understood whatever it was her sister was saying.

“Could you repeat that, Onee-chan? I can’t hear you.”

“I like Umi-chan!” Honoka suddenly bursts out. Shyness temporary overcome by her frustration of always bottling up and repressing her feelings, Honoka lowers her tone as she mumbles, “…I’m in love with Umi-chan.”

“I know, Onee-chan.” Yukiho says not one bit surprised.

“Ehhhh?” Honoka shouts flabbergasted.

“It’s not like you were being discreet with Umi-san.” Yukiho points out. “Besides I’ve always known that you didn’t like boys.” She declares with utter clarity. “Back then, you were always picking fights with the boys who bullied Umi-san when we were kids.” Adding as an afterthought as she giggles at the memories.

Relief washes away the tight curl of tension in her body. With tears gathering in her eyes, Honoka glomp tackles her little sister from across the table. “Onee-chan~ that’s embarrassing!” Yukiho whines as she tries to fend off her sister’s affection, pushing at Honoka’s cheek.

“Thanks Yukiho,” Honoka whispers against Yukiho’s soft hair with utter sincerity, her voice choking on the sheer amount of hope and happiness that her little sister had just given Honoka.

 

Down the block a few houses from the Kousaka Household, Umi is kneeling outside of her grandmother’s room. Umi’s posture portrays the epitome of calm. Meanwhile internally, her mind is pacing back and forth, negativity brewing around in circles. Unconsciously, her nervousness kicks in, rubbing her forefingers and thumb as if holding onto an arrow.

_Here goes._

“Grandmother, are you available to talk at the moment?” Announcing her presence, Umi curls her shoulders towards her ears slightly, another habit she hadn’t shed from her childhood, at the voice of her Grandmother.

“Yes, of course. Come in, Umi. I will always make time for my beloved granddaughter.” The elderly matriarch says as she stirs her cup of green tea to perfection.

Bowing before entering the room, Umi slides the shoji door open. The snap of the wooden hinges after closing the door manages to return Umi to the present as she moves to sit seiza style in front of her grandmother.

Anxiety never lost its grip inside her heart. Umi can feel the organ drumming rapidly. She curls her hands as cold sweat seems to run down her neck.

“Grandmother, Mother and Father have been setting up arranged marriage interviews.” Umi pauses to breathe, fortifying her nerves. “As you have known, I have rejected each and every one of them. As for the reason why…” Umi pauses once again to regain her waning confidence.

“Umi, relax dear. No one is going to hurt you. Least of all an old lady.” Her grandmother chuckles.

_But you have the potential to_. Umi doesn’t dare voice that thought aloud.

“When I was your age, I too, dreaded those meaningless proposals. Having strangers sit across from you and talking about business instead of love. In fact, it wasn’t until I met your grandfather that my parents stopped hounding me with marriage proposals.” Umi’s grandmother continued, pausing to look right into Umi’s amber eyes, as though she could read Umi’s mind.

 

“So have you found someone?” Her question direct with a no nonsense tone of voice befitting the Matriarch of the Sonoda household.

Umi’s jaw hangs open as shock is reflecting off her face, her grandmother cackles at the expression. Not once has Umi seen her grandmother act like this before. Always refined and poised. Not like now, where her grandmother is openly laughing, the wrinkles on her eyelid expressing the joy echoing in her voice.

The thought of lying may have crossed her mind but never would she ever condemn their relationship. It was much too special. Honoka deserved more than what Umi could ever offer in a lifetime or two.

“Yes, I have.” Umi pauses to inhale, calming her jittering nervousness. “They-” Umi shakes her head clearing any remaining doubts or hesitation. “She,” a pause, directly putting emphasis on the pronoun, Umi states, “She was always by my side.”

A knowing twinkle lights up in her grandmother’s eyes.

“Ah. The Kousaka’s eldest daughter has caught your fancy.” It seems that saying is true that Grandmothers know everything.

Cheeks blooming red along with her ears heating up, “Yes.” Umi confirms nodding her head. Then a little more daring than usual Umi declares, “I’m in love with Honoka,” as she stares defiantly into her grandmother’s wise eyes, nearly issuing a challenge if her grandmother objects.

_She has always been the one._

After a few tense moments, Umi’s Grandmother finally speaks, “Nethertheless I still expect grandchildren from you. Blood or not, they will carry on the proud name of the Sonoda Clan.”

Umi blinks. Once. Twice.

As the words register, Umi’s face lights up faster than fireworks at the summer festivals.

Umi’s Grandmother takes a sip from her cup of green tea. “Ah, forgive me Umi, but it has been far too long since I’ve last had to meddle into someone’s love affair. Since your sister’s time all those years ago.”

“Grandmother!” Umi squeaks, scandalous thoughts invading her mind. Particularly the memory of her kissing Honoka on the bench a mere few hours ago.

Shameless indeed.

But in the very depths of Umi’s mind, an image of two elderly ladies sitting outside their deck with an open white shogi door imprints itself. A faint fragment of pure happiness.

Maybe the future doesn’t have to be so bleak after all.


End file.
